First off = I’m delighted to tell you that Gemma has won the DotComGiftShop giveaway! Thanks ever so much to everyone who entered.

Readers who have been here since before December will possibly already know this but for those of you who are newer to my blog, last year I was absolutely hammered with postnatal depression and then had a hideously unfair situation to deal with at work THEN both Bob & I were made redundant from our jobs and we set up our own business. The events of the last year have brought me new levels of understanding – particularly of the phrase ‘a rollercoaster of emotions’ – as we’ve had the highest of highs combined with the lowest of lows and finally finally I am able to tell you all that things are going our way.

Two weeks ago I stopped taking my antidepressants because the side effects had become worse than the depression had ever been. I panicked, thinking that I was going to plunge into the depths of doom and gloom again but it never came. I have been second-guessing every reaction – Am I reasonable to be annoyed about the kitchen being untidy or am I overreacting because I’m withdrawing? – and I have been extremely self-conscious about speaking. Yesterday I trotted off to my LOVELY Doctor who said that she’s thrilled with my progress, that she thinks I’m through the worst of any withdrawal and that I am clearly in a better mindset than I was in November. That confirmation that there is really sunshine and happiness in my world was just what I needed.

So this week I have found my joie de vivre again. I have squeezed myself into size 14 clothes for the first time since I was pregnant with Nairn! I have been RUNNING (well… attempting to run, I managed half of the first Couch to 5K running plan), I’ve been walking with Penny regularly and I’ve been sewing & baking again. I am appalled to admit that until this week, I haven’t baked anything this year because honestly, I didn’t have the faculties to. Poor Bob has kept the house running, the children cared for and supported me in every way. He is the awesomest of awesome and I am so very grateful to have him. I’m also grateful to have you guys reading and commenting because it’s really meant a lot to me while I’ve been in such a slump. Onwards and upwards!

I kicked off by making and decorating some little cupcakes for the kids to take to nursery. They’re not the best or prettiest cupcakes in the world but I think they were well appreciated by my bambinos. Would you guys like a tutorial on making these?

I’ve ALSO been making bread for us. I really don’t like white bread – it sticks to my teeth and the roof of my mouth and feels like I’m eating wallpaper paste – so I’ve been making some lovely seeded wholegrain bread which even the children have been eating. There’s nothing quite like your kids’ judgement to make you feel like a domestic goddess (or not!)

I know it doesn’t sound like much but baking and exercising are two little things that have proved to me that I am getting better. I won’t pretend it’s not been a hard slog but I’m making positive strides in the right direction. Let’s see where the next six months take us

Posted under baking, me

I have never followed a large-scale cable pattern before, so after finishing Julie Hentz’ Cabled baby hat pattern I decided I was ready to tackle a full-scale cable pattern. I picked Sirdar pattern 3953 (Ravelry link here) which I’ve had sitting in my folder for years, and cast on.

That was my first mistake, because had I been a responsible and sensible knitter I would have knitted a test swatch in pattern where I would have noticed the problem…

Anyway. 40 rows in knitting with some godawful acrylic (this sweater was to be for Bailey, Stephanie bought the yarn, I cringed but remained silent because quite frankly she was terrifying during her pregnancy) and I realised that my cables looked, well, inside out.

I am so aware that I have trouble with differentiating right side and wrong side, back and front in terms of knitting and what I think I had been doing is cabling back when I should have been cabling forward and vice versa. So, I have frogged it and I will do a swatch this time before casting back on.

Morals of this story? SWATCH! And less speed more haste.

Click for embiggenisation

So that’s my failure. However, today I have had a success. I’m stuck at home this week with #2 as he recovers from chickenpox, so we decided today to bake some fairy cakes to have around the house because #2 has inherited my sweet tooth. Cleaning out the cupboards, I discovered a tupperware piping ball (looks like this) that embarrassingly I have owned for at least seven years but have never used.

So! I pinched some of the cream cheese frosting I had made to frost Nigella’s Guinness cake and had a little practice. I ended up making a plateful of these, but the plate doesn’t fit in the whitebox so here’s the best looking cake we could find


And because my hubby is such a bloody superstar and I love him to death, I made him this


They’re not the best looking cakes in the world and I’d be the first to admit that but I’m pretty chuffed for my first attempt. I think next time I’ll probably use a smaller nozzle and put the cake mix into paper cases so they’re neater when I’m icing them.

I’ll be back after Friday with a post about my latest knitting project and the guinness cake.

Posted under baking, knitting, with the kids