I wasn’t really that surprised when almost every invitee to Erica’s party turned up. On the days when she goes to nursery there’s usually a gaggle of excited toddlers waving and shouting to her at the window and before she moved up to the pre-preschool room a few weeks ago (she is now officially a Cheeky Chimp) her toddler room-mates would chatter excitedly to me when I dropped her off. When we go to the park she always makes a friend no matter how dreich the weather and when we first met Amanda and Bron it took a matter of seconds for her to race off with her similarly-aged counterparts. She’s exuberant, effervescent and extremely high maintenance but is the most sociable of all my children. I wouldn’t say she’s more popular than the boys – they have a firm group of friends which tends to be close knit – but her circle of friends is wide and fluid. From my perspective of being distinctly unpopular as a schoolie, I’m enthused by the demand for her friendship but if course, this demand leads to supply issues.

In other words the dreaded birthday party.

Over the last 8 weeks Erica has been invited to no less than six birthday parties, all of which have been held at (an admittedly better-than-usual) soft play centre in a local pub. I should be honest here and say that soft play is an anathema to me – witnessing my children mutate from reasonably polite if excitable dwarves to puce-faced sweaty hulks sustained by chicken nuggets and fruit shoots is not my idea of fun – but they absolutely love it. Therein lies my first ‘concern’. If the kids have been invited to a softplay party, how should they be dressed? Party dresses simply cramp your style when you’re trying to clamber up wipe-clean plastic mountains, but on the few occasions that I’ve dressed Erica in a long tshirt and leggings she’s looked distinctly out of place. How do other parents do it?

Added to that there’s the financial obligation too. Erica was gifted some beautiful presents at her birthday party in May but since Bob & I have been self-employed since the turn of the year we simply don’t have any disposable income right now. As you can imagine, six birthday parties in eight weeks really hits the pocket. I don’t feel comfortable turning down invitations and so I try to stick within a budget of £10 for the gift with a card & wrapping paper on top.

This is where my dilemma lies. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I have some idiosyncracies when it comes to gifts being bought with hard-earned money. There’s nothing that angers me more than my kids breaking something they’ve been bought as a gift because I can remember all too well how long I could eat for if I had £10 while I was a single parent. For someone to spend almost two hours-worth of wages on something means a great deal to me and I want my kids to appreciate that, but I also want anyone I’m buying for to appreciate it too. Hence, I really begrudge buying crappy pointless toys as gifts no matter how much my kids beg me to. We all know the kind of toys I’m referring to – Gogo’s crazy bones are top of my ‘Vonnie hates these’ list, along with those revolting aliens in a plastic tub of slime which Nairn particularly adores – and so I usually resort to books or crafting kits to encourage parent & child to spend time together. BUT THEN I have the guilt for pushing my parenting ideals onto others.

I decided recently to let Erica pick the present for her friend, but that backfired spectacularly when she – who has a new-found love of gardening – decided that her friend J REALLY needed a massive strawberry planter from B&Q. I bought it since it was clearly a gift from the heart then bought a kite as an apology to his parents for handing over a bucket of mud to look after.

There’s got to be a happy medium, surely? Do other parents stick to a birthday budget? Do you have a policy about the kind of gift you’ll buy? Most importantly, what are your fashion principles?

Posted under family

This is Nairn.

Nairn is the most excitable, active, cheeky, funny, expressive little chap you could bump into. He is the only child I’ve ever met who I can read just by looking at his face. I can tell when Nairn’s plotting mischief – in fact, I can almost smell it. Of my three children, he is the one who drives me to complete distraction in superhero speeds. But, he is becoming such a cracking little character who loves his Mummy, his Daddy, his brother, his sister, one of the cats (ironically the one nobody else likes) and pretty much anybody who is a part of his life.

It’s Nairn’s birthday in two weeks. My (admittedly huge) tiny baby is going to be three years old. I can’t believe this was only three years ago, meeting his big brother for the first time.

Anyway! My maudlin ramblings have a point. I need to organise a birthday party for this little champ and right now the choice is to decant to soft play (quite expensive, no control over the terrible food, don’t have to supervise the children) or to have something at home (cheaper, more control, OMG ALL THOSE KIDS IN MY HOUSE).

I’ve been eyeing up Martha Stewart kids which has loads of ideas if your birthday child is female but I’m fairly certain Nairn and his rambunctious friends wouldn’t be into tea parties, flowers or polka dots. So I’m after suggestions as to a) How to theme this birthday and b) How to remain sane for two hours of toddlers in my house! Party game suggestions are always welcome as well, there’s only so much musical statues you can play!

I’m considering going with a Wall-E cake as there’s a magnificent bakery round here who’ll do me a cake no problem and Nairn *loves* Wall-E but other than that I’m clueless.

It’s not too late for soft play, is it?

Posted under for the kids, with the kids