First off = I’m delighted to tell you that Gemma has won the DotComGiftShop giveaway! Thanks ever so much to everyone who entered.

Readers who have been here since before December will possibly already know this but for those of you who are newer to my blog, last year I was absolutely hammered with postnatal depression and then had a hideously unfair situation to deal with at work THEN both Bob & I were made redundant from our jobs and we set up our own business. The events of the last year have brought me new levels of understanding – particularly of the phrase ‘a rollercoaster of emotions’ – as we’ve had the highest of highs combined with the lowest of lows and finally finally I am able to tell you all that things are going our way.

Two weeks ago I stopped taking my antidepressants because the side effects had become worse than the depression had ever been. I panicked, thinking that I was going to plunge into the depths of doom and gloom again but it never came. I have been second-guessing every reaction – Am I reasonable to be annoyed about the kitchen being untidy or am I overreacting because I’m withdrawing? – and I have been extremely self-conscious about speaking. Yesterday I trotted off to my LOVELY Doctor who said that she’s thrilled with my progress, that she thinks I’m through the worst of any withdrawal and that I am clearly in a better mindset than I was in November. That confirmation that there is really sunshine and happiness in my world was just what I needed.

So this week I have found my joie de vivre again. I have squeezed myself into size 14 clothes for the first time since I was pregnant with Nairn! I have been RUNNING (well… attempting to run, I managed half of the first Couch to 5K running plan), I’ve been walking with Penny regularly and I’ve been sewing & baking again. I am appalled to admit that until this week, I haven’t baked anything this year because honestly, I didn’t have the faculties to. Poor Bob has kept the house running, the children cared for and supported me in every way. He is the awesomest of awesome and I am so very grateful to have him. I’m also grateful to have you guys reading and commenting because it’s really meant a lot to me while I’ve been in such a slump. Onwards and upwards!

I kicked off by making and decorating some little cupcakes for the kids to take to nursery. They’re not the best or prettiest cupcakes in the world but I think they were well appreciated by my bambinos. Would you guys like a tutorial on making these?

I’ve ALSO been making bread for us. I really don’t like white bread – it sticks to my teeth and the roof of my mouth and feels like I’m eating wallpaper paste – so I’ve been making some lovely seeded wholegrain bread which even the children have been eating. There’s nothing quite like your kids’ judgement to make you feel like a domestic goddess (or not!)

I know it doesn’t sound like much but baking and exercising are two little things that have proved to me that I am getting better. I won’t pretend it’s not been a hard slog but I’m making positive strides in the right direction. Let’s see where the next six months take us

Posted under baking, me

My baby brother Callum turned 18 earlier this week. 18! I can still remember with vivid clarity waking up on Remembrance Sunday in 1991 to find my Nana in my sisters’ bedroom because my Mum & Dad were away to the hospital. He was a scrawny wee bag of bones – all 4lb 15oz of him – but from tiny acorns grow mighty 6ft 4 oaks

Of course, no family birthday goes without cake! Unfortunately I was massively pressed for time so asked Bob to remake a cake I’d tried out for Greer’s christening. When I made this, I sliced it up and the entire cake vanished in literally one minute. Gone. And in my mind that’s generally a pretty good sign that it’s good cake. Knowing that Callum isn’t particularly a sweet aficionado, a lemony cake seemed like a good idea and lo! Lemon poppyseed cake it was.

Recipe originally published here

Ingredients
100ml milk
3tbsp poppyseeds
150g butter
150g caster sugar
½tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs separated
150g plain flour
1tsp baking powder
Small pinch salt
1tsp mixed spice
1tbsp finely grated lemon zest

For the topping
70g caster sugar
30ml lemon juice

Heat oven to 180C/Gas 4. Bring the milk to the boil, add the poppy seeds and set aside to cool. Beat the butter, sugar and vanilla together until creamy. Add the egg yolks one at a time, beating well. Fold in the sifted flour, baking powder, salt and mixed spice, then fold in the lemon zest, milk and poppy seeds. Beat the egg whites until peaky, and fold through the mixture.

Pour into a buttered and floured 20cm diameter high-sided cake tin and bake for 40 mins or until an inserted skewer comes out clean.

To make the topping, stir the sugar and lemon juice into a paste. While still hot, brush the cake with the sugar paste, then leave in the tin to cool.

Let me know if you try this – it is ACTUALLY to die for!

Posted under baking

About two years ago, I made the most delicious carrot cake (also known as passion cake) and for reasons known only to two-years-ago-me I didn’t blog it so I’ve been testing recipes to try and find it again. I tried out this recipe and it was alright – maybe even nice – but not quite what I was looking for.

You will need:
170ml vegetable oil
300g caster sugar
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
200g walnut pieces, chopped (I did mine through the food processor)
450g carrots (topped, tailed & grated)
300g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
2 tsp cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 180C/Gas 4, grease & line two sandwich tins. I always use my 8″ round tins.
Beat the eggs and add the oil, sugar and vanilla essence. Sieve the flour, baking powder, bicarb and cinnamon into the liquid and combine before adding the carrots & walnuts. Make sure it’s mixed well then split equally between the tins. Bake for around 40 minutes until your cakes are silent or a skewer comes out clean.

Once the cakes were cooled I iced them using my favourite cream cheese icing.

If you try this, let me know what you think?

Posted under baking

Apryl has instigated a new love for blueberries in me, thanks to her gorgeous blueberry muffin recipe which I first tasted thanks to Sam baking them for me in the bake swap. I found this recipe recently and decided to give it a shot. They’re blueberry and lemon friands.

Apparently they’re all the rage in Sydney – I’m sure they are! But for me, it was a bit of faffing about for such a small output of goodness. This recipe only makes six admittedly gorgeous muffin-like cakes. My diet is out the window but on the plus side, I only got to eat an extra one since it only makes six! I’m sure it’s easy enough to double this recipe but here in the UK blueberries are quite expensive. Maybe worth substituting raspberries instead?

Let me know if you try them!

Posted under baking

Oh. My. God.

My partner in the bake swap was the fabulously talented Sam, who sent me some gorgeous blueberry muffins* made using Apryl’s recipe and let me tell you friends, this is a recipe to die for. I’ve never particularly been a fan of blueberries but these muffins were outstanding. So! I gave the recipe a shot.

As you can see, all of my blueberries sunk through the batter. Not necessarily a bad thing – in fact, I quite like the effect this had but it did mean I needed a fork to eat them or (as the children proved) I’d have been covered in blueberries. I picked up a handy wee tip for next time though – take a tablespoonful of the flour out before it’s added to the batter, put it in a bowl with the blueberries and coat the blueberries by giving the bowl a good stir and shake. THEN stir the blueberries into the mixture – the flour will hold them in position.

Try them – they’re amazing!

* My bake swap package arrived when Amanda and Kirsty were visiting, I left the tub in the living room and Erica, Maia & Jamie raided it! Little horrors!

Posted under baking

So in my last entry I posted a recipe for bread and butter pudding which called for two egg yolks. But what about the whites?

WELL.

My favourite favourite piece of posh totty, Mr Valentine Warner, has been appearing in the BBC’s series What To Eat Now and in a recent episode he showed off a recipe for little lavender meringues, affectionately called “Fairy Tits”. With a name like that, I just had to try them

The recipe is available on the BBC website here. The astute amongst you will notice that my meringues are not lavender coloured – they’re actually pink. I like pink better than I like lavender and I’m not terribly great at making my own colour palette I also skipped the real lavender because Erica destroyed my lavender bush in a fit of pique a few months ago but other than that this recipe was excellent and helped me produce my first proper meringues. I also didn’t pipe them after my exploding piping bag incident, merely scooping teaspoonfuls onto the greaseproof paper. These are intended to be teeny tiny, so even my teaspoonfuls were too big and that is a lesson learned for next time.

Thanks Valentine!

Posted under baking

So, dear reader, I have a dilemma. I have been baking and cooking away lately but haven’t managed to blog it because SOMEONE had misplaced the memory card for the camera…

Findlay says, “It wasn’t me…”

Nairn denies all knowledge

Erica looks at the camera and shouts, “CHEEEEESE”

Whilst Greer looks cute

So in the meantime I’m afraid you’ll need to make do with photos from my phone. Luckily we have now located said memory card so when I’ve blogged up the camera photos we should be back to normal service. Well, I say normal because knowing my terrible children and messy house I don’t doubt that something else will go missing soon!

Anyway. Today I’m going to show you another wee taste of my childhood. My Nana and Grampa are children of the war era and so had a fantastic ability to eke dinner out on a budget. As classic Scottish weans* we’d get mince an’ tatties and if we ate all that, we might get bread an’ butter pudding after. What a treat that was! As I was the eldest grandchild it was my job to help my Nana and I can remember standing on a stool at her kitchen sink when I was probably about Findlay’s age, peeling potatoes and turnips and being allowed to help bake in return.

Thus, I decided last week that my kids should have some bread an’ butter pudding. Admittedly this was influenced in part because we were skint and had very little food in the house, and in part because I had about 20 million eggs needing used up! Nana always told me to use bread that was a little past it’s best, but bread doesn’t get a chance to go stale in my house so I used an outsider on the bottom layer.

You will need:
6 slices of bread
Butter
Raisins
Cinnamon and/or nutmeg to taste
2 egg yolks
2 tbsps sugar
3/4 pint milk (or more if it’s not enough to cover your bread)

Preheat your oven to gas mark 5 (375F). Butter the dish you’re using to make your pudding in, then butter the slices of bread and cut them diagonally in half. Cover the bottom of the dish with bread slices then sprinkle over a small handful of raisins. I really like cinnamon so at this point I sprinkle a teaspoonful of cinnamon over the top but I know my Nana prefers nutmeg – do whichever suits best or leave it out altogether. Repeat this layering again before topping off the dish with bread. Do NOT put raisins on the top of your dish because they’ll burn in the oven, and nobody likes a burnt raisin.
In a saucepan, mix your milk and sugar together and heat until the milk mixture is bubbling. Make sure you stir regularly to help the sugar dissolve and ensure it doesn’t stick to the bottom of the pan but be careful not to let the milk boil. Beat the egg yolk quickly in a jug then add the milk, whisking gently to combine. Pour the mixture back into the pan through a sieve and simmer for five minutes, stirring regularly. Pour over the bread slices and leave for at least half an hour, gently pushing the bread into the custard occasionally before sprinkling the top with the brown sugar and cinnamon. Pop in the oven for half an hour until the top is a golden brown colour. Serve with custard or vanilla ice cream.

*Wean means child, literally “wee ‘ane” or “wee yin” meaning “little one”. You’re a wean until yir Granny tells ye itherwise!

Posted under baking, family, recipes

No, I’m not referring to the New York Times perfect chocolate chip cookie, alas. I have been trying to find an easy, quick and tasty recipe to add stuff to and I think I might have cracked it. For me, the perfect cookie is crispy round the outside and squidgy in the middle and this is it! In the interests of fairness I must openly disclose that I am a peanut butter fiend but if you’re not, I’m sure the peanut butter M&Ms could be replaced with smarties, plain M&Ms or indeed chocolate chips.

These spread a little more than I was expecting so they’re not the neatest. Bear this in mind when you’re baking these! Next time I’ll split them between two cookie sheets.

You will need:
100g of butter, softened
100g light brown sugar
1 tbsp golden syrup
150g self raising flour
100g peanut butter M&Ms (I bought these on eBay)

Preheat the oven to 180C/Gas 4. Beat the butter and sugar together until light and creamy, then beat in the syrup. Add roughly half the flour and mix until combined, then add the rest of the flour with the M&Ms. Get in with your fingers and make sure the M&Ms are evenly mixed in. Divide into 14 balls (or more if you prefer a smaller cookie) and place onto baking sheets lined with greaseproof paper. Bake for 12-15 minutes until light brown around the edges. Place on a wire rack to cool.

Posted under baking, recipes

Nothing ever goes easily in this house of mine! I threw this mixture together, got it all in my piping bag and managed to pipe 8 rounds before my piping bag exploded! If you decide that you want to make piped biscuits like these can I heartily recommend acquiring a piping ball like this one as it’s less fragile than a bag. I got mine years ago from a Tupperware catalogue but I’ve lent it to Kirsty so I ended up just placing teaspoonfuls spread well apart on a baking sheet. It meant these were slightly less pretty but still very yum!

I also cheated as I made these at 11pm the night before we left to go on holiday so instead of using the ganache to sandwich the biscuits together, I used chocolate spread which worked wonderfully.

You will need:

225g butter, softened
60g icing sugar
25g dark chocolate, melted
170g plain flour
2 tbsp cocoa powder
3 tbsp rice flour
2 tbsp icing sugar for dusting

for the filling:
225g unsalted butter, softened
180g icing sugar
25g dark chocolate, melted

Preheat oven to 180C/Gas 4. Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy then stir in melted chocolate. Sift the flour, cocoa powder and rice flour and stir into the creamed mixture.
Pipe the mixture using your largest fluted nozzle into 2 inch rosettes spaced 2 inches apart on a baking sheet lined with greaseproof paper. Bake for 10-12 minutes.

For the filling: Beat butter and icing sugar, then stir in the chocolate. Spread the filling onto the bottom half of the cookies, and then sandwich together with the other halves

Dust with the icing sugar.

Posted under baking, recipes

It’s turning into a bit of a baking blog here! I do feel a bit guilty because I don’t really do well with pretty cakes – I’m a necessity baker rather than a pretty baker – but I haven’t really managed to complete much else recently so you’re being overloaded with recipes just now! Normal service will resume soon (when the children have grown up, stopped fighting and keeping me up all night…)

Flapjacks are the first thing I ever baked by myself. I’ve mentioned before that my Nana the person who encouraged me to bake, knit and sew and I can remember standing in her kitchen making these in a baking tin that is probably older than I am! They’re so easy to make and my kids go mad for them. This is the recipe I’ve developed over my flapjack making years but it’s very easy to swap ingredients in and out.

You will need:

90g butter
90g light brown sugar
100g ground almonds
190g porridge oats
Generous handful of raisins

Preheat the oven to gas mark 4. Melt the butter and sugar together then add the rest of the ingredients. Mix thoroughly before dumping into a greased square baking tin. Bake for about 20 minutes until the top is golden brown. Remove from the oven and allow to cool for five minutes before marking out your fingers then leave to cool completely (preferably overnight). These flapjacks are quite squidgy – if you like yours a bit more crunchy then use a little less butter.

Yum yum!

Posted under baking, recipes