Ask almost anyone old enough to remember, “Where were you on 9/11?” and they’ll be able to answer. Most people however aren’t quite so sure if you ask where they were on 7/7 – the day that London was attacked.
I can tell you where I was. I was in the Early Pregnancy Assessment Centre of the Southern General hospital with Bob. The night before, I’d been admitted to hospital with cramps so bad I was bent double and unable to stand up. Then I started bleeding. The Doctors said nothing with their words but everything with their eyes. They were 90% certain I was having an ectopic pregnancy and wanted to monitor me until 10am when I would have a scan.
I refused to stay in the hospital. It was so cold, so clinical and they wanted to admit me onto the maternity ward. The cruelty of this act stays with me even now, to be surrounded with new life when we were sure I was carrying death was just too much. We went home and attempted to sleep in between the tears and sadness, clinging to each other and resigned to our loss.
Early in the morning we made our way back to the hospital in silence, to that waiting room in the department of no hope. We sat in the most uncomfortable chairs huddled together already in mourning and watched the news of the bombings unfold on the tiny television. Slowly and quietly the visitors and staff crowded around us, silently hoping and praying that nobody had been badly hurt whilst our own troubles were put to the side until we were called into the ultrasound room.
It’s the longest walk, that walk from the waiting room to the ultrasound room. Every step produced more waves of nausea, fear and anxiety. In truth it was less than 20 seconds but I remember at the time absorbing the hospital smell, the ambience and the desperation of the other patients. Into the darkened room with the monitor turned away from the patient to save them from seeing the nothingness we went, and I lay on the bed. Hours and hours passed in less than a minute when the nurse silently turned the monitor towards me and pointed.
The pain, the bleeding – caused by a rampant kidney infection that had developed from an unchecked UTI. The baby? Well, he turned out to be just fine.
I’ve never forgotten how we felt that day when we thought we were going to lose the baby we’d only known about for 3 weeks and how our joy & relief was mingled with empathy for the mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, sons & daughters and friends who lost loved ones that day. Five years and I can only imagine their pain but I hope each and every person affected by actions that day is surrounded by love, support and memories of happier times.
Posted under family
This post was written by Vonnie on July 7, 2010
I was trying to get on a Tube train to head in to the centre of London, I’ve never been more relieved to have got up late!
Huge hug. I was 5mo pregnant with K at the same time, stuck in the office with my blood pressure going haywire in the heat, wondering if Manchester was next and if it was safe to take a train home. And I totally get what you mean about being shoved onto the maternity wards – same experience this time round when I had a bleed at 28wks and ended up on the same ward as women in labour. In fact when I first arrived at Central Delivery I ended up in the same room I’d had K. I too fought to get home to recover or grieve one way or another. Horrifying and inhuman treatment – and people wondered why I fought so hard for home birth this time.
It is very peculiar to be in a death-amongst-life or life-amongst-death situation, so hard to make sense of everything against a background totally opposite to what you’re going through.
I was about 3 months pregnant with my daughter and had gone round to my in-laws that morning. My MIL was sitting in bed having just had an operation on her knee and we were all standing around watching the news in horror
I was sitting in the livingroom studying for my last ever Chemistry exam, wondering if my cousin and her husband were ok as I knew they both travelled on the tube into central london. Luckily they were either working from home or were due to start later that day.
The way you write never fails to dredge up memories within me that cause me to connect emotionally with what I’m reading, and this is no different.
I was also in the Southern General Hospital that day!
My gran had come back from holiday and had taken so ill that we went to see her. I remember sitting on the end of her bed watching the news.
snuggles
I don’t want to be a stickler for details… but 9/11 was 2001, not 2005 love. Are you mixing up your two boys? This freaked me out seeing as your 2 and my 1 are the same and I was certainly not pregnant during 9/11!!! I was at home drinking coffee on my day off and saw it happen on tv and called a friend over and we watched the news all day.
9/11 was in America in 2001 – 7/7 was in London in 2005
x
*teary smile* I thought I could see where this was going, been there, done that (too many times) but the ending made me crack a big smile for you! What a day to be remembered. xxx
I was doing foot health screening at the special olympics. Oh and I forgot about the baby pacman picture.
I really remember that day, nothing dangerous for me but I was working in London that day, left my mobile home as well (I never leave home without it though) and been traveling around London all day and listening the news on the radio, so scary that I was be somewhere near those sad places but fortunately not at the time… when I arrived home there was like “hundred” missed calls from friends and family… how they must have feel that time… certainly a day to remember for you… kisses and hugs
I was at work and there was a special message sent round to everyone. They changed the state of alert that day and it’s never gone back down again. Sign of the times I guess.
Susi
x
I was on my way to take my son to a swimming lesson at Port Glasgow baths when I heard about 7/7.
But I was pregnant on 9/11 and remember wondering what kind of a world this baby would be coming into.
A lovely post and I don’t know why I hadn’t found your blog earlier.
What a heartfelt post. I sat watching the news about to give birth any day and felt almost guilty, and worried about numerous family members who live in London.
What a moving post. I always wonder about people in circumstances such as these on terrible days like that one was. Very evocatively described – so glad your news was good news.