I’ve been pondering my style of parenting recently – historical and present – as my lovely, beautiful children grow.

I always felt that I had something to prove as a pregnant 18 year old and subsequent mother at 19. I was never quite sure if it was because of my age or because I felt that my own parenting was sub-par, every decision I made had to be perfect. I was one of those parents. You know exactly what I mean.

I remember falling out with my sister for MONTHS when she took Findlay to McDonalds. He was probably around two years old? I went absolutely ballistic. How could she taint my baby’s gut with that processed crap! My beautiful baby ate only homecooked meals. No sweets, ever. I think he had cake for the first time on his first birthday, but he always had lots of fruit. Apricots were a particular favourite as I recall. I carried him in a sling although it was a very basic Tomy one rather than the fabulous Moby wraps that I used with the later babies. I breastfed exclusively until solids and we did look at cloth nappies although when I had Findlay in 2001 the internet was still a bit of a novelty and getting information wasn’t particularly easy. I didn’t (and even now, rarely) smack, I preferred to use reasoning than yelling. Best of all? I judged everyone who did not parent as I did which when you think about it is HILARIOUS given that I chose all of these methods so that I could be judged as better than the average.

So what about now? Well I’ve relaxed hugely on pretty much all of it – especially the judgementalism part! I think having Nairn and Erica as such challenging babies woke me up to the fact that I was exceptionally lucky with Findlay. Nairn had such bad reflux that if I moved him or picked him up within an hour of being fed, he would vomit his entire feed all over me. I managed 14 weeks of exhausting non-stop breastfeeding before I switched him onto bottles so that his feed could be medicated. We moved straight onto chunks of food bypassing puree altogether, not because we were pioneering the baby-led weaning method but because to be honest, he was a grubber and was already trying to swipe whatever Findlay was eating. Did this mean that he occasionally ate junk food – shock horror, yes! Is he forever damaged by the occasional fish finger? I highly doubt it.

It’s only now as my lovely friends are having babies and I find myself in the position that I HATED in others when I was a new Mum – I am BRIMMING with advice. Pain relief in labour? Gas & air amazing but trippy, Diamorphine bad, epidural wonderful at the time but did you know you’ll need a catheter? Windy baby? Cycle the legs, it’ll help them fart. Exhausted Mum? Don’t get up to feed the baby, bring them into bed and practice breastfeeding lying down so you can go back to sleep. Ask me about cloth nappies or slings or attachment parenting or labour and I will BORE YOU TO DEATH with it. Lord, save us from ourselves.

Although, I think I’ve earned the right

I like to think I’m a far more laid back parent these days. I am still morally opposed to smacking – I just don’t think it’s ever right for an adult to inflict their world view on a child by using violence – however I have found myself offering that as a threat. I am a big shouter though, I’m not sure how I couldn’t be with four extremely loud children. With one fussy eater who doesn’t like bread or pasta, I’m FINE if they want to eat just a plate of cheese with ham slices for dinner because I know they’ll eat fruit/vegetables later.

We talk. About absolutely everything, at any point in time and I’m really glad that we can. Don’t get me wrong there have been some toe-curlingly excrutiating conversations like when the nursery told Erica she had to stop using the word “vagina” (I still don’t know what she was saying, I suspect she was telling her compatriots how babies are born), or explaining how two men have sex but I will do anything to avoid the situation I found myself in age 9, when my best friend Suzanne told me that when girls turn 13 they start bleeding from between the legs and it doesn’t stop until you die.

Have I made parenting mistakes? Of course! We all have, haven’t we? Massive clangers at times. What gives me comfort is that my children are all growing, they’re all healthy, they’re all super intelligent and even when they are driving me bananas I know that they are very much loved.

Given that – as a Mum, what is the best advice I can give to a new parent? It’s this. From this moment on, a huge chunk of your heart will be out living in the world outside where bad things happen and people aren’t always nice. Be the best protector of your heart by remembering all the things you hated as a kid and making sure they don’t happen.

Also? Don’t ever take advice from other parents.

(Christmas Eve, scattering reindeer food. Findlay was at his Dad’s.)

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Took me 1h40m, but I did it!

Before

Starting off

My loyal support

The final stretch

Me, having noticed my friends & family at the finish line

Nairn and Erica found the magic chimney which makes clouds

Bonus: I got interviewed for STV news as I came through the finish line, ended up sobbing. Video here (I’m the one in the yellow CF trust tshirt)

If anyone would like to sponsor me – or indeed, to know why I was running – my VirginGiving page is here.

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I know I’ve been out of circulation for a long time.

Big changes are happening, have been happening with us.

I want to write about it but I find myself struggling to form more than basic sentences. And even if I did write, would anyone read or comment?

Nod if you can hear me.

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Proper post coming soon, I promise.

In the meantime, I have been laughing LIKE A DRAIN at this for a significant amount of time today. Check it!

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My lovely chum Amanda from Uniquely Snowflake has tagged me to do this meme. I’m actually quite amused by it because I suspect I’ll struggle to find seven things you lot don’t know and indeed, this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently.
I know that there are some people out there who don’t really understand why I choose to put the most private and intimate moments of my life out on the internet for the world to see. I understand that, I really do. It just feels like the norm for me and it’s been a dawning realisation that friends aren’t always the people you know personally. So, I’ll continue to share the triumphs & tribulations of my life and if you don’t like it you can click that wee red x up there.

SO! Seven things about me that you don’t know.

1. I have a gigantic extended family. My Mum and my Father (who passed away earlier this month) split when I was just weeks old and my Mum remarried my Dad. Thus, I inherited all of my Dad’s huge extended family AND the additional two sisters & one brother that they had together. Mum & Dad split up then both remarried, so I inherited a StepDad and StepMum, a stepsister and stepbrother and even more relations! I had Findlay with my first husband Alan, and so I have his parents as in-laws THEN I married Bob who has a fairly extensive family too.

As it stands, my children have three Grampas, a Papa, two great-Grampas, two Grans, a Granny, a Nana and two Great-Grans all still living. They have three Uncles and three Aunties, before we even start looking at Aunts and Uncles who are partnered to them. They have six cousins so far. Gigantic.

2. I went to boarding school when I was ten. I stayed for two years at Edinburgh’s famous Fettes College before I moved to Glasgow. Does that make me posh?

3. The touch, smell and sound of sandpaper makes my skin crawl. I can’t even touch an emery board or it’ll make me cry.

4. I went to every single Rangers home game from 1995 until 2000. Every testimonial, cup game, European game etc. Absolutely loved it.

5. I am a very good shot. I used to go to ATC as a teenager and I was the youngest person in my squadron to attain my RAF Marksman, when I was 13.

6. I went to school in South Central, LA for a few months.

7. I can make balloon animals.

There we go! It was quite difficult to find 7 things I hadn’t talked about haha. So, I tag
1. Amanda Kitschycoo
2. Manda TreeFallDesign
3. Amy at LucyKate Crafts
4. Marylin at SoftThistle
5. Susan K. Mann
6. Jen at the Mad House
7. Jax at Making It Up

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I was flicking through the papers this morning and read this article in the Telegraph (note: I am not a Tory) which states that it’s Mothers who mostly decide on baby names. Food for thought!

I have to confess that I picked all of our children’s names. After a few hours spent in a bath reading a baby name book, little baby Ben was renamed Findlay. He would have been called Caroline if he’d been a girl, the only name that Alan really felt strongly enough about to insist on. We’d agreed on Ben fairly early on then changed to Findlay about 3 weeks before my due date. I don’t think he would have suited being a Ben.

When Bob and I discovered we were pregnant, we simply could not settle on a name. I liked Noah, he liked Alistair. We went through reams of names before agreeing that his name would be Alistair Nairn or Nairn Alistair. I got my own way there. Erica was so named because I had a dream about helping a little girl put on her welly boots and she told me her name was Erica. When we found out later that day that our baby was a girl, it seemed she’d already named herself. But with Greer? If she had been a boy, the name we’d picked and agreed on was Jonah. But for a girl? Her name was pretty much the first name I suggested, at least six months before she was born and Bob absolutely hated it but couldn’t find anything he liked better. He eventually came up with Charlotte and we agreed her name would be one of those two names to be decided once we’d met her. I got my own way again.

I think it’s a massive responsibility to name a child. To pick a name that will suit them, that will be appropriate, that won’t convey social positioning and which isn’t likely to cause them grief at school is not an easy task! I like to think that I did pretty well with our choices and indeed, I don’t think I would have changed the names I picked but I can completely understand how babies are left unnamed until the day of registration. My sister Stephanie had decided that her new little boy was to be called Brandon, until her partner suggested the name Blake. It took until two days after he was born for them to agree that his name was Blake. It’s not easy!

So for you – did you find it easy to name your children? Did you follow any familial traditions? Did you get your own way?

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I keep writing paragraphs about my experience but I’m too cold/exhausted to elaborate so here in bullet points for you, my day yesterday:

• One of our staff – Claire – texted me to say the roads were grim and she’d be late.
• I called the kids’ nursery to see if they were open. They were, but advised against us attempting it as the roads were treacherous.
• I decided to go to work and take Greer with me (as Bob still shouldn’t be lifting her, post-appendectomy)
• We left the house and got onto the main road without much difficulty but the snow was unrelenting.
• Got onto the A725 which is the main road from East Kilbride to Glasgow and came to a complete standstill
• EIGHT HOURS LATER I eventually ditched my car in a pub car park, asked in a hotel if I could borrow a sheet to tie Greer on my back and walked just over a half mile UPHILL in snow up to my knee.

I had documented my day in photo form on my phone but I appear to have lost that somewhere en route home so you’ll have to take my word for it.

I know that my Canadian friends are probably HOWLING with laughter at the state that we’re in over a few inches of snow but honestly I was really quite scared yesterday and it was quite a relief to get home. So today we’re having a snow day with lots of hot chocolate, shortbread and films.

Stay safe, all of you!

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This is a sponsored post

We got that letter the other day advising parents to be extra vigilant as there has been an outbreak of head lice. Ick. I personally have never had nits and would like to keep it that way, but I have all too many memories of my Mum dragging a bone comb through my (extremely thick) hair every time my sisters brought home a headful of new pets. Naively perhaps, it was and has never really been something I’ve worried about with the boys until recently but since Nairn has inherited by lustrous thick and course hair I’m now obviously concerned.

So I recently got an email from Vosene kids to tell me about their new range of head lice-repellant products aimed at kids and the NitWatch website which supports it. They sent me a little goody bag to test out which I’ll admit to being wary of – after all, I remember all too well the nit lotion that my nit-obsessed Mum used to smear on us – but I was pleasantly surprised to find it was tea-tree I could smell. Plus one!

I have to say it’s a thumbs up from me. It’s not an embarrassingly obvious anti-nit lotion and so can be discreetly used regularly to help your little bugs stay nit-free and I’m more than happy to keep it in my bathroom from now on.

The folks at Vosene have offered 20 samples up to readers of this blog and to get one, all you have to do is tell us why you’d like to trial it. All horror stories greatfully received

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I have had the honour of working for Who Cares? Scotland on two separate occasions over the years and it’s an experience I won’t forget in a hurry. The aim of the organisation is to support, advise and advocate for children and young people who are or have been in care – something that has been awe-inspiring to watch and be a part of over the years – and I wanted to share a couple of videos with you.

This one features a Young Persons Worker talking about how his role makes a difference.

and this one was filmed as a group of young people and supporting adults headed off from Who Cares? Scotland’s head office to trek in Nepal.

Some of the Who Cares? Scotland staff members are running the Glasgow 10k today and they are 83% of the way to their fundraising target so if you’d like to support not a good cause, but a vital cause then clickety click here and pledge a few bob.

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Hello worthy friends!

I feel like I owe you all an apology. It has been weeks since my last update and I don’t see me getting much time to update more before the weekend so you’re getting a short and snappy one today. I have a couple of giveaways to organise, some product reviews, updates on where we are just now with the shop and of course stories of my wonderful children to come.

Just bear with me a few more days

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